Han Week 3
Everything can be treated as a tool in my point of view. so manicure is the symbol of ‘building up and shaping’. and the rule I can break is the way I’m doing it. like how many formal steps I skip and add some glittering paper pieces on a nail, stick on.
From my experience living in London, it is always out of gender issue. For the polish, or let’s say ‘color on nails’. Many straight ( he claims) wearing the black polish by the reason of the style punk or gothic.
Therefore, the gender part could be neglected, so I wonder, as “A STYLE”,
The blur could be accepted, a style is a choice by purchasing.
So should we say that, in a way, capitalism helps us to escape the depression by having enough money to make the ‘LIFESTYLE’ decision?
That is the effect of the images are all around us~
So what are we exactly talking about?
In the drag competition, I got third place, and I got a note about my drag performance- she is doping very Hannah.
in a way, I escape the expected image of what a drag queen performance should be. I am playing a character named Hannah but I still project some piece of Han onto it. the line is blurry but clear between Han and Hannah, that kind of in-between makes me feel satisfied. maybe it matters for the viewers.
The note of ‘it’s very Hannah’ 在某個程度上我是否逃逸了變裝皇后給人的某一種期待？我使用我自己在那個扮演、附身、擬態的線上的清晰與模糊。我踩在扮演的線上，ＨＡＮ與ＨＡＮＮＡＨ的交會。既是讓某種集體期待的ＤＩＶＡ再我身上，更是讓ＨＡＮ與ＨＡＮＮＡＨ戶做為幽靈的主體，進出在我的肉身之間。
I am always on a very weird site, I have no LGBTQ society in my life, though I might have a group of friends that all see themself as QUEER people, somehow I would find another bridge to connect us instead of “this is my gang of QUEER love bae”.
Therefore, when I see a common value like the liberation of desire, that couldn’t represent me. Also, that projection of desire is very personal somehow.
Therefore, when the play was performed with straightforward, obvious desires, LGBT audiences as TA, heterosexual narration, and passion by all audiences, I quickly became estranged. I don't want to be part of any group, it's my pride in my identity to be different, Even if I look directly at the nature of desire, it's a private fear in public. The excited audience made me cool, and I had a kind of resistance at the moment, such a straightforward vocabulary, I think it is private, and it can empathize and share, but I believe that there is an appearance that is higher than language to show.
And cross-dressing is regarded as an element in the adapted play. I think it is quite reasonable, and it also has its meaning in text and symbols.
But does it confirm my own opinion that cross-dressing is regarded as a tool, a tool for action?
Or is he just a usage metric that a hair, makeup, and dress can have in the theater?
How does pleasure become a fear in such a scene?
It is only in the theater of heterosexuality that the imagination and projection of the heterosexuality of heterosexual gays are satisfied.
I thought about it and then I thought about it, the power symbol of objects to me.
How to wear specific objects or even cross-dressing, he is giving me the implementation and practice of the role I can have under this social structure and the mode of daily life. The whole day is a ballroom game.
Wave Week 3
In the second live streaming, we chatted until we almost forgot the time, and the four hours passed quickly. When our hands continue to shape objects of unknown shape, the topic will keep turning and discovering with the dynamics of our hands. For example, when Han glued pieces of clay onto his nails, Kai, the project host who came to the scene to participate, mentioned that Li-Hong,our art administrative assistant (AAA), was actually a manicurist. Our topic immediately turned to nail beauty, and we considered inviting Li-Hong to do my nails with Han in the next live streaming.
In the kneading process, the continuous change of color and shape is always the focus of our attention. Therefore, we link together objects that may not be related. For example, the white clay can be a mushroom first, and after we flatten it, it becomes a sanitary napkin. Or, colored clay that is like dried tofu becomes a colorful galaxy on a comb. As the rainbow colors became more and more blended and mixed, the ash-colored clay and ribbons intertwined and became a poop. Our facilitator, Kang, said that these productions do not seem to be practical. However, he also said that he saw a gender-fluid and queer language of expression in this man-made event. He also raised the question, "How should we talk about queerness nowadays?" He believes that clay does embody some of the ideas of our project, but is also curious about the connection between clay and "feel Good(s)". That has yet to be clarified.
On June 10th, Han participated in a drag queen dress-up event. He spent more than a week preparing with all his might. When I asked him why he made a costume with the idea of yellow watermelon, he said he liked green, and his instinct made him want to do it. It seems that the arrangement of cross-dressing and performances is difficult to explain with clear cause, effect and logic at many times, and there is no need to explain more. Flashy, meaningless, exaggerated connections and expressions are sometimes the key elements that make drag performance groundbreaking, provocative, and blurring the established order. The creation of cross-dressing is like kneading clay. In the process of constant change, the unknown interest and meaning are suddenly revealed.
I observed that among the participants on the day, only Han's nails were styled. Others were more concerned with wigs, makeup and clothing. However, I found that nail art, while seemingly tiny, has the power of gender fluidity. After the third live streaming, I lived with the manicures made by Han and Li-Hong. My hand movements have changed a lot, and there are subtle but significant differences in the attitude of others towards me. "Cool", "beautiful", "it suits you so well", "very handsome", " flirt", the direct evaluation and discussion of my nails unexpectedly opened my alternative observation. Hands play an extremely important role in many human contact moments in life, such as transactions, meals, work, communication, and the use of mobile phones. In order to protect the nails from damage, my hand movements have become more detailed and careful. I always have my nails face up and often watch and show involuntarily. Therefore, whenever I operate, pick up various objects, or communicate with people, I seem to have another kind of life, like being "possessed", with a strange but comfortable feeling. Nail art not only changed the style of my hands, but also gradually changed my behavior and even the way I saw myself. Could this be an embodiment of some kind of "feel Good(s)" ?
We watched a show together that featured gender fluidity and explored the differences we focus on in conversation. The costume styling in the play uses a lot of cross-dressing elements, especially the use of exaggerated "sexual characteristics". The show is based on heterosexuality, and the homosexuality plot is a special setting that creates comedic effects. After a while of joy, I was rather puzzled. Straight men were casted and bent, as if there was a sense of superiority that non-straight men finally challenged and succeeded. When straight men become all kinds of cross-dressing beasts, full of passion and full of sexual impulses, the emotions of the audience under the stage can always be highly stimulated. I wonder why playing with gender in this way is so effective in arousing the pleasure of the audience? Why does the charm of heterosexual characters' cross-dressing seem to be more entertaining? As we all know, these plots are just theatrical performances, but the switch to Han's drag scene still works. One stark difference, however, is how the fictional setting relates to the performers. I found that most of the time, drag performers are not just performing, but more emphasis on the use of exaggerated language to complain or laugh at the limitations of the outside world's understanding of body and gender.
So, how to promote gender fluidity in the process of performing objects? Why does unstable gender representation always attract attention? How is the pleasure of playing with gender achieved? Why are we eager to explore these questions? Are we feeling something is wrong?
｜Goods Talk 3 直播紀錄｜